My Song

I was raised in a large family, grew up in Wisconsin,

the fourth child of twelve, twelve of us kids. My mom

and dad were both Native American but they never

really, they didn't bring us up in a traditional

Native American type upbringing. From as far back as

I can remember, it seems like I had a normal

childhood. We weren't really dirt poor, but we weren't

really well off either, but my mom and dad always

seemed to manage even with all the kids and

everything.

I was raised predominantly among white kids, so most

of my friends were white. As far back as I can

remember I guess, I thought I was a normal kid.

Growing up, you know, you start stealing and lying,

you know, getting into trouble and stuff, and as I

grew up, I felt prejudice, and I felt different things

like that, that made me kind of not really like too

many people. I was kind of a loner, I guess. As I got

older, most people bored me, I think. I just had a

few good friends I could talk to and stuff. Like I

said, I grew up pretty much in a white world.

I guess I had always liked music a lot. I would

always sing songs, and sing to my mom and dad, and I

knew songs, and I always sang when I was younger.

Music was an important thing. It played an important

part in my life. As I got older, I wanted to play

drums and so I started playing drums. I think I was

about 10 or 11. Right about that time, the Beatles

came out amd all that scene was going on, so that made

me even more interested in playing music. When I got

involved in music, I thought less of school. I

thought it was a waste of time, that I was just

wasting my time. What I really wanted to do was play

music. I started to play drums, and I took a few

lessons. At one point I also took voice lessons just

for a short time because I liked to sing. That was

kind of short. It seemed boring to me. I didn't

really have the patience, or want to go through any

kind of training. So I gave it up.

So as I grew older, the more I got into

music, the less I wanted to get into school or

anything like that. At one point, I felt like I

didn't really need school, it wasn't something I

really needed because I wanted to be a musician and I

wanted to be successful. so I didn't really need

school. I can remember back before I got saved, I felt

special. I felt, I don't know how to explain it, I

felt chosen, or I felt special. I don't know how to

explain it. I felt different, or I knew that I was

different, or that I knew that something in my life

was going to be different. Because I had this feeling,

I thought I was destined to be famous, like a rock

star or music star, or musician or something. I

started playing in bands and I caught on real fast. I

started playing drums with even just a few lessons. It

was real natural for me to play. That became the most

important thing I guess, in my life, just playing

music. This was probably when I was 14 or so. I played

in a few little bands, but I still had this feeling

that I was special. That is the only way I could

describe it. There was something very different about

me. I didn't tell many people.

I remember when I was a young kid, my mom and dad

would fight, sometimes I would see my dad struggle. I

would see my mom and dad fight and argue because they

were drinking. Anyway, one time I asked my dad, and I

don't know how old I was, but I asked my dad, "Where

did I come from?" And he told me, "God made you." And

that just stuck to me. That was something that I

used to think about. "God made me!" I think maybe it

was the first time that I ever really thought about

God. And not that I hadn't heard about God, my folks

took us to a small Baptist church when I was a kid.

But they weren't religious themselves. They wanted us

to go to a church. I guess they wanted us to be part

of a church. They dragged us all to church. I wasn't

really all that excited about going. It 's just that

we could go do something afterward. We went to this

small Baptist church, and I never felt God there. I

never felt convicted, I never felt anything. I think I

just felt it was a waste of time, just a waste of time

sitting there. Kind of boring and stuff. But I went. I

guess when I got old enough to not go, I just quit

going.

As I got older, the older I got, the more rebellious

I got. I didn't like school, I didn't like authority,

I didn't like cops. I didn't like anybody telling me

what to do. My family life wasn't too good because my

folks started drinking and stuff like that. They would

come home, and they'd be drunk and fighting. My little

brothers and sisters would be crying. You know, it was

just a real bad scene. There were times when I just

wished I wasn't there. It made me get into music even

more. That was kind of my outlet. I started playing

music. Got less interested in school. So I quit school

when I was 16.

Soon after that I moved to Madison, and I started

just bumming around. Got my GED and graduated high

school in April of 69. I was done with school, so I

was just playing music, drinking beer, getting high,

stealing, all the things everybody else was doing. I

remember a lot of my friends were Catholic. I didn't

see any kind of power in their lives. I had no respect

for priests or nuns or anything, nothing in any kind

of religious way. Not that I didn't respect God or

didn't believe in God. There were times when I was in

trouble, and I would pray, thinking that God would

hear me or could hear me or was hearing me. I was

alienated from God because I was living in sin. So

the older I got, the farther away I got. I had this

desire to be successful. I thought that's what my

calling in life was. I thought that people are

destined to do this or do that, to be whatever they

were going to be. I thought this was what I was going

to be. That I was going to be a successful musician.

In November of 1971 my friend wanted to go out to

California to see his relatives and I told him I would

go with him. I thought this was the big break. I was

excited, inside of myself. I was excited because I

thought this was it. The summer before, I had

practiced a lot, just practiced and practiced my

drums. I thought I was good enough to be something. I

thought that I was a good enough singer and performer,

so I thought that I could somehow succeed. So at that

time, everything was happening in California. That's

where the music scene was, and the drug scene, and the

whole peace and and love scene was going on. So I was

definitely ready to go to California. At the same time

I felt bad, because I was leaving my mom and my dad

and my family. But I had to go. I knew I had to go.

We hitchhiked, we left on the first of November 1971.

We left, we got on the road. We were in Mauston, got

on the freeway, and four days later I found myself in

Los Angeles. We got to Los Angeles, not by chance, but

just by what I know now was God drawing me to Los

Angeles, that God had a calling on my life, that God

was bringing me, leading me, I guess, out there. We

got out there on a Thursday, and just by the way

things happened, we were going to San Jose, but we

ended up stuck in L.A. We ended up on Hollywood

Boulevard. Now I know it was the Lord that made all

this stuff happen to get us up to Hollywood Boulevard.

There, we got witnessed to by two Christian men that

were saved, that knew the Lord. They were a part of a

very strong work of God. We got witnessed to on the

street there. Even then at the time, I didn't really

believe it. I was arguing, I was being a jerk, being

a punk and stuff, I wasn't really that crazy about it.

I was just listening, being a wise guy. We met a

friend that we had known from back home and he was a

part of this church. And he invited us up to this

church. He said, "There's a free meal, come on up."

We were starving. We didn't have hardly any money. So

we thought it was a commune type thing, go up there

and hang out, be with a bunch of young people, sing

some songs around a campfire. So we thought cool, just

go up there.

It was a long drive. It seemed like it took a long

time. They took us up in a bus. Finally got there.

Went to this little church, it was a restaurant turned

into a church. We walked in, and I knew there was

something very different about this place. That this

place was very unique. That it was just home, genuine,

people were reading the Bible. There was a small

prayer room off the sanctuary. People were in there

praying. The whole place was so different, totally,

real homey. I didn't feel weird. It was very bright,

so bright and lit up. It was the spirit of God that

was there. These people were all Christians. These

people were all blood washed saints, they were just

reading their Bibles. They were just going about their

business.

We ended up staying through a service. They were

singing old gospel songs, old blood washed songs.

During part of this service, people were getting up

and giving their testimonies, and how they got saved,

how they came to know the Lord. I saw young people,

old people, black, white, Chinese, seemed like any

kind of race you could put together. It was really

wonderful. I heard the testimonies, and the songs,

and the message, and at the end of the service, they

had an altar call and they asked for anyone who wanted

to know the Lord to come down and get saved.

I stood there for a minute, and then one of the

brothers from this church came and said, "Would you

like to get saved?" Immediately both my friend and I

went down. They said to come forward, not while eyes

are closed and heads are bowed, it wasn't like that

at all. Because the Lord says if you are ashamed of

me, that I'll be ashamed of you. If you deny me

before men, then I'll deny you. (Matthew 10: 32-33) So

we stood right up and went down and knelt down at the

altar and we humbled ourselves. They led us through

the sinner's prayer. I confessed with my mouth and

believed in my heart that Jesus Christ is the Son of

God, that he died on the cross, shed his blood. I felt

the Spirit of God come down, just totally about

halfway through this prayer, my heart was just broken.

God came down, and broke my heart. He let me know that

I was a sinner. That even though I was 19 years old, I

had this weight and this burden of sin. I hated

drinking, and the way I was, stealing, lying, and

doing all this stuff that I was doing. Inside, I just

hated it But I couldn't stop. I had no power over my

sin. I had no power to stop. I was in bondage to the

things of the world. I was in bondage to these

things. But when I asked Christ to come into my heart,

the heavens opened up. God honored His word. He just

sent his Holy Spirit down, and just washed me and

cleansed me. He let me know that I was saved. I knew

beyond any shadow of a doubt that I was a new person.

All my desires, my career, music, drugs, marijuana,

beer, whatever, all these things that I loved to

do...I loved to do those things, you know, all these

things, even though I hated them, I still loved them,

because I was worldly. God just broke the bands, and

I was completely set free of my sin, and I knew I was

saved, and I knew beyond any shadow of a doubt, God

had saved me.

Years later, then I knew, I knew why I felt special.

I knew what it was before I got saved, when I was a

young teen, was because I felt God. I had this

calling on my life, that God was going to save me and

bring me to this powerful work. I got saved and asked

the Lord to come into my heart. I knew I was saved. I

knew God was real. I felt the heavens open up. I stood

up on my feet after that prayer. I just felt so

different. I felt changed. I felt new. I knew God had

set me free, that Jesus had washed me in His blood. I

was a new creature. Old things passed away and all

things became new. (II Corinthians 5:17) They asked me

if I wanted to stay there and serve the Lord, and I

said, "Yes I do," and I did.

One of the things I remember them telling me, was

that God would save my family. It was one of the

promises. He promised that. (Acts 16:31) God has many

promises in the Bible, there are so many promises in

the Bible, and this was just one of them. Like I said,

I had no desire for music. I didn't care if I ever

played music again, it didn't mean anything to me. I

just wanted to feel that feeling that I felt at that

time, just feel the Spirit of God. That's all I wanted

to feel. I didn't care about being rich or famous. I

just wanted to have that feeling. And God kept all his

promises to me. Just a few months later, maybe six or

seven months later, my mom and dad and my little

sister came out to see me. I had written to them, I

started calling them, telling them how I'd gotten

saved. They were so thankful, so happy that I was

saved. Six or seven months later they came out to the

church to see me, and they ended up getting saved. My

mom and dad and little sister. And they were changed.

Same thing happened to them. They quit drinking and

swearing. And they were changed, completely different.

They completely forsook it. They knew they were

changed and they knew they were different, and they

wanted to be a part of this body of Christ.

They went back to Wisconsin and they told the rest of

my brothers and sisters, who were all at that time

pretty young kids, "We are going out to California,

we're moving to Los Angeles, going out to be part of

this church." So they did. Brought my brothers and

sisters out. They didn't have a place to go, they

didn't have a job. They just took it completely by

faith, that God was going to make a way for them and

He did. They didn't move into the church. They moved

close by and they attended church. I saw my family

saved. I saw God's promises kept, that He promised me.

He kept that promise, not because of anything good

that I did, but because He is a good God. He is

faithful to his word. All my family got saved, a lot

of my relatives got saved A lot of people I knew got

saved, got to come to know the Lord, and the Lord is

really just so good. He looked down from heaven and

saw me in the gutter, and raised me up, cleaned me up,

and this was in 1971, and that's when I got saved,

November 6, 1971. It was a Saturday night. And God

was faithful.

So I had that happen many years ago. Now today, I

know that God is a God of love and He's a God of

wrath. For a time in my life, I fell away from God. I

allowed myself to be weak. And I fell away. And I

didn't know God. I felt the wrath of God. I knew that

God was up in heaven. I had sinned against Him and I

had fallen away from Him, but He is merciful. And in

1991, my mother went on to be with the Lord. She was

sick and in the hospital, and the night before she

passed away, I was the last one to talk to her. And I

asked her to rededicate her life to make sure that

everything was right between her and God. And she

did. I asked her if she would say the sinner's prayer,

and she did, she rededicated her life. And just a

short time later, after she rededicated her life, like

the next day, maybe 24 hours later, the Lord took her

home and she is with Him now. February of 2000 my Dad

went on to be with the Lord. I know they're in Heaven

now. I know God is merciful and I know He is real..

Since then I have rededicated my life to God. The

Lord dealt with me very supernaturally and He showed

me that if I confessed my sins and confessed my

faults, that He would forgive me. (Romans 10:10) I did

those things like the Scriptures say. I asked Christ

to come into my heart. I rededicated my life, and

since then God has blessed me with perfect peace and a

sound mind. (Isaiah 26:3) He has given me a beautiful

loving wife that wants to be with me, wants to serve

God with me, and He's given me a wonderful family and

many wonderful blessings. I know He's real tonight,

and He is alive tonight, and He is on His throne, and

He is all powerful and He is angry with the wicked

everyday. (Psalms 7:11) But if we repent, and we ask

Him to come into our hearts, He will do that. He says

to pick up the cross and follow Him daily, (Matthew

16:24) and that's what we intend to do, follow Him

daily, not to be swayed by the world, or by anything

at all, but to lay hold onto the cross until the end.

I don't know why God looked down from heaven and

chose me, because there are more people that are

smarter than me, stronger than me, or better qualified

than me, but God dealt with me throughout my life when

I was a child. Now I know that He was there, He was

watching me, He kept a watch over me, and He is alive,

and if we confess with our mouth and we believe in our

hearts that Christ died for our sins, we can have

eternal life with Him. We can have a more abundant

life on this side of eternity. (John 10:10) We have to

give our lives to Him. The Lord says to lay down our

lives and pick up the cross. He says that if you deny

him then He will deny you. And if you pick up the

cross, then He will give you the strength and the

power to do that. Praise God, for all His judgments

are true and righteous.

Sherman Funmaker redragz@yahoo.com

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